


how to say (i love you)

by orphan_account



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and juhee if you have goodass glasses, changmin is as well, chanhee is done with changmin's shit, highshool AU - Freeform, jaehyun is a supportive fierce meme, lowkey canada bros, maknae line + chanhee and changmin are besties, mom and lowkey savior jacob, pov switches between changmin and younghoon, real names!!, shoulda put this at the front but, word vomit, younghoon + sangyeon + jacob + jaehyun + kevin are besties as well, younghoons a shy child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-24 15:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Who said words were needed to confess? Well, that’s Younghoon's, a shy junior in highschool, logic… Will his crush manage to figure out who he is before the end of junior year, or will all his shy efforts go to waste?





	1. to love is nothing and to be loved is something.

“Yes! Okay, I like him,” Younghoon hissed at Jaehyun, “I just… can’t seem to get the words out.” Jaehyun stared at Younghoon, eyes irritated but also gleaming with humor. 

“You have like, approximately three weeks to tell him, Younghoon.” Jaehyun pushed away his lunch box to show him with his fingers. “Three,” Jaehyun sounded out, “weeks.” The younger retreated to his spot, taking a bite out of a chicken tender. “By the end of those three weeks if you haven’t confessed to him, you’re pretty much done-zo.” Younghoon sighed and wrinkled his nose at the grease gathering on the other’s hands.

“At least get a napkin..” Jaehyun looked at Younghoon pointedly, plucking a paper napkin from Younghoon’s tray.

“Mhm, Kim Younghoon, do _not_ try to change the subject.” Younghoon wilted in his seat, whining.

“I don’t wanna hear it; you’ve been pining after this Changmin dude for eons, just go for it, will you?”

“It isn’t that simple Jaehyun, you can’t just- you can’t just-” Younghoon tried to reason, feeling the blood rush to his face. Seriously, why did Younghoon have to make it so hard for himself? It’s not like Changmin wasn’t gentle or kind, rather the opposite. He’s sweet and adorable...

“Oh my God, reality calls Younghoon! Don’t space out on me!” Jaehyun waved a hand in front of Younghoon, earning a grunt from the other.

“You can’t even have a proper conversation without thinking of the guy, what’s there to be afraid of?” Younghoon stayed quiet, fidgeting with the loose threads of his hoodie. Jaehyun’s eyes softened and he switched seats to sit next to the nervous boy.

“Are you afraid he won’t accept you?” Jaehyun asked quietly, patting Younghoon’s back albeit a bit awkwardly. 

“No? Well, a little, but- I mean…” He trailed off and just nodded, gaze focused on the linoleum tiles. Jaehyun’s gaze stayed sympathetic, but his voice held a fierce lilt to it.

“If he has the balls to act like a homophobic shit about it, I promise he’ll have the balls to talk,” Jaehyun’s grip on Younghoon’s shoulder tightened making Younghoon squeak, “to me.” Although Jaehyun could be pretty cheesy at times, the vow made Younghoon feel more assured. Jaehyun sat up in his seat, taking a sip of his milk. “So, how are you going to confess to him?” Younghoon sighed and started to pick with what he was _told_ was the school’s mystery meat. He was never sure.

“Um, that’s the part I haven’t really… sorted out yet.” Younghoon smiled sheepishly. Jaehyun stared at Younghoon for a minute before standing up and pushing his chair in, much to Younghoon’s surprise. “Dude! Where are you going?” Jaehyun looked at the other boy over his shoulder, letting out a wry laugh. 

“This’ll take _years;_ might as well as grab some popcorn from the vending machine while I’m at it, huh?” Younghoon was about to to reply when Jaehyun suddenly sent a thumbs up in his direction, making the older shake his head. _I’m not that slow… am I? Yeah, because popcorn-_ Younghoon’s line of thought was cut off when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Back already? I swear-” Younghoon looked up to see Ji Changmin standing in front of him with a slightly bewildered and confused expression on his face. _Oh, shit._ “Oh, um- hi Changmin…” Younghoon felt his ears redden once again, cursing the universe. _Wow, yay, stutters._ Younghoon could perhaps take the logical train of thought and blame it on the fact he _barely_ interacted with others offline besides his close friends but he’d rather blame his awkwardness on the universe. 

“Hey, Younghoon.” Changmin chuckled. Younghoon literally didn’t care if it was because he was acting like an idiot, that laugh was worth it. It sounded so bubbly and so carefree… “So the lunch lady asked me to give this to you. Hope you don’t mind.” Changmin rubbed his neck and held out a slip of neon paper, a signal that Changmin hadn’t _actually_ come to talk to him, he was just giving him a reminder that he should bring his lunch more often. _Of course,_ Younghoon lamented internally. 

“Oh, well- thanks.” Younghoon took the paper making Changmin smile him. Even if it was out of politeness, it made his heart flutter.

“No problem.” With that, Changmin set off towards his own table where he was immediately swarmed by with people.

“Note to self, don’t confess to him at lunch…” Younghoon murmured, crumpeling the paper in his fist and sticking it in his hoodie pocket. 

“So! How’d it go?” Jaehyun suddenly yelped, pouncing on Younghoon, causing the other hiss and drop his fork. 

“He literally just gave me a lunch notice ‘cause the lady didn’t seem to catch me in time.” Younghoon let out dejectedly, the reply making Jaehyun visibly deflate.

“That’s it?”

“Pretty much Jaehyun, that’s it.” And it was. Changmin and Younghoon’s relationship throughout the whole year consisted of the following: Younghoon stuttering, Changmin’s polite smiles and short moments usually caused by chance. But these “by chance,” meetings held very little meaning. It could be working in a group together (but obviously, never having the opportunity or courage to talk to Changmin) or a teacher sending them on a short walk down the hall to give a note to another teacher. Those moments Younghoon could probably count on only two hands, but he cherished them so. “Well, I have a start to my mission, I can’t confess during lunch.” Jaehyun grinned and gave Younghoon a bear hug.

“Progress, man! These three weeks? You probably won’t even need them!” Younghoon gave a grin equal to Jaehyun’s wolfish one but his doubts were practically eating him from the inside out. As the bell rang and Jaehyun waved goodbye to go to his next class, Younghoon’s mind could only focus on one thought.

Would three weeks be enough to make up for a whole year?

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh my _God_ Changmin, your ass has been pining after him for _centuries,”_ Chanhee scolded playfully as Changmin plopped in his chair for fourth period.

“Yeah, I know, I know.” Changmin groaned. Suddenly a crash sounded from the front of the room, footsteps soon following. But neither Chanhee or Changmin looked up at the source of the noise, both knowing who were coming.

“Really? Don’t tell us we missed it, you have to be kidding me!” Eric, a rambunctious boy in the year below Changmin and Chanhee, screeched. Soon after his arrival, three others followed: Haknyeon, Hyunjoon and Sunwoo.

“Wow, the whole posse is together again I see?” Chanhee noted. Haknyeon nodded, elbowing Hyunjoon. 

“Surgery fucks with you for a few weeks, what can I say,” was all Hyunjoon said, making Sunwoo guffaw.

“Shush child. You tykes are too pure to use profanity, and in my presence as well.” Chanhee berated as Eric cackled.

“Okay, okay,” Sunwoo rolled his eyes, “back to the tea at hand.” Changmin let out another exasperated groan.

“Please don’t tell me you said that, it’s making me lose hope in our future.” Sunwoo glared at Changmin.

“Okay, let me rephrase that: wow _queen,_ can you _believe?”_ Haknyeon was doubling over at this point, Eric and Hyunjoon chanting “shook” over and over. Changmin sighed, opting to hide his face with his arms. 

“Oh my gosh, dude, this isn’t hide and seek; I can still see you even if you can’t see me.” Sunwoo jeered lightly.

“Since Changmin’s out of order, d’you mind telling us what went down in the lunchroom, Chanhee?” Haknyeon piped up, the others quieting down.

“Yeah, we heard news about a certain boy!” Hyunjoon winked.

“Guys, it’s _Changmin._ This guy has been pining for over two _years_ , why do you think something has suddenly happened?” The other boys just excitedly awaited, practically bouncing with energy.

“He gave a notice slip to Younghoon from the lunch lady.” Chanhee gave up, the younger boys immediately protesting.

“Really? We’re skipping our study hall for _this?”_ Hyunjoon gaped, earning a hit from Haknyeon. 

Changmin looked up, “My love life isn’t some sort of soap opera for you guys you know!”

“But it _is,”_ Eric insisted.

“If it is, it’s hella boring.” Sunwoo commented, Haknyeon giving him a prompt thwack on the head. Their bickering carried on before Chanhee interrupted, the group surprised but quiet.

“Sunwoo is right you know, Changmin…” Chanhee started carefully. Changmin shifted so he was staring at Chanhee, confused. “It’s just, you might not have the chance to tell him over the summer, forget next year…” Chanhee said, gaze downward. The gang subdued, all lost in thought and realization. “Maybe,” Chanhee contemplated, “you should confess sometime soon?” Changmin bit his lip and twiddled his thumbs. It was no use arguing against Chanhee, Changmin knew everybody next year would be busy touring colleges and studying for the SAT. Besides, if Changmin had learned anything from his older sisters, it’s that during senior year would be busy and you’d probably have _no_ spare time, especially just to pine over your crush of two years. But how would I even start…  
It had taken all of his sophomore year just to learn Younghoon’s _name_ and tidbits about him, like what year he was and he was like. Junior year was pretty identical to sophomore; along with Changmin becoming more popular with his classmates, Younghoon seemed pretty hard to catch. If Changmin were to count how many minutes they’d had together total, at _most_ it was probably fifteen minutes.

“He could make a scene of it like the dramas, so he couldn’t refuse!” Eric suggested brightly, retracting when there was no reaction. 

“You could write a letter? Maybe place a note on his desk early in the morning?” Sunwoo proposed. However their brainstorming session was cut short by the bell, a sign that sophomore lunch had started and class was to begin for Chanhee and Changmin.

“Thanks guys,” Changmin called as the younger group scampered out of the classroom and hooted their goodbyes. Chanhee only stared at Changmin, even when Changmin waved a hand in front of his face. When the teacher started to call attendance the older only shook his head. Changmin was starting to wonder if he was _against_ his crush on Younghoon when a sapphire sticky note reached his desk with scrawled writing.

Time’s running out soon Changmin, figure something out.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Younghoon stared at his ceiling, limbs splayed out on his bed. It’s not like he _wasn’t_ totally out about his sexuality, he even had a few rainbow stickers in his locker. “Where has your boldness gotten you though, huh Younghoon?” He muttered, recalling all his brief meetings with Changmin. I bet he thinks I’m mute, Younghoon thought sarcastically, eyes catching his computer screen. Oh, he must’ve left the thing turned on while procrastinating on studying. _Wait a second._ Why did he always make things so hard on himself, when the solution was literally right there! He slid into his computer seat and started to rapidly type at the keyboard, opening links into new tabs left and right. He filtered through each site as he slowed down, narrowing his choices down to two pages. An article with the header, _How to confess,_ and of course, Pinterest. 

He’d gotten it solely for the purpose of finding photos for a slideshow in his freshman year and spoiler, even though he got sick and couldn’t present at all, he’d kept the platform and his account. Although Younghoon wasn’t an avid user, he had to admit, there was some pretty useful info on the platform. He clicked off of Pinterest onto the other tab, his excitement gradually draining. All they mentioned was the stereotypical love notes and such, but also the most absurd things: walks on a beach, a scavenger hunt… There was one plan he didn’t think was so bad, it included a drive and while faking getting lost, have the person you wanted to confess to stare at the signs for directions. Beforehand you were supposed to put up cards which would cover the street names and make it spell out something like, “I love you,” or some other cheesy phrase. But there were a few problems with that: first of all, Younghoon didn’t have his license yet, only a permit. And who would guarantee someone else would take down the cards on the street sign? You could get in trouble for vandalism… Younghoon thought, biting his lip. 

He clicked out of that tab, instead bringing his search to Pinterest. Not much caught his eye, until a particular post caught his eye. It was one of those OTP imagine things and although Younghoon wasn’t briefed up on the whole “Sherlock fandom” scene, he could understand the gist of it. The post described a scenario where instead of confessing, Sherlock would just tap it out in morse code. 

Younghoon knew already he couldn’t actually voice the words to Changmin but what if… he just hinted it to him? A plan started to form in his mind and even though it left very little room for error or confusion, Younghoon was willing to take the chance.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Changmin paced in his room; he was too jittery to even _pretend_ he was asleep in his bed, so he had gotten up. He’d already gotten dressed and eaten breakfast, not to mention he prepared his backpack already. So he did the most logical thing you could do as a flustered high school junior, obsessing over the fact you only had two weeks and two days to confess to your crush (Yes, Changmin counted) and he dialed Chanhee. At 4 AM. It took a few rings, but eventually a groggy voice greeted Changmin.

“You know, you’re an asshole for waking me up at,” there was some rustling on the other end of the line, “4 AM.”

“Where did that come from?” Changmin whined over the line. More rustling. _He’s probably finding a murder weapon,_ Changmin thought. God knows Chanhee always slept in whenever possible, especially on weekdays, when he was at his grumpiest. “What happened to mellow Chanhee, the one that was helping me with my possible confession?”

“Bitch, please. First of all, possible confession?” Chanhee grunted. “Second of all, mellow Chanhee only appears if default Chanhee gets enough rest or hysterical Changmin comes into play.” Changmin winced, quickly bouncing back.

“Well, I think I’ve got a pretty solid plan; don’t call it stale drama wise though, you theater rat.” This was how their conversations always went: weird insults, back and forth. Their unique humor was probably the reason they had become such good friends in the first place.

“I’m all ears but call me theater rat again and I’ll block you,” Chanhee threatened playfully, though Changmin knew the claim was anything but empty.

“What if I meet him at his locker after last period and lead him behind the school after the day ends?” Chanhee was quiet before he replied.

“Hmm… cliche and a bit odd, but it might be what you two love birds need.”

“You did _not_ just call Younghoon and I lovebirds.” Chanhee laughed over the line, the bad signal making it sound like static and crackles. Changmin had to admit though he sort of liked how it sounded. _Younghoon and I. Lovebirds._

“Just did; now if you’ll excuse me, I have a murder to plan for in my dreams.” The other boy grinned and quickly said a goodbye, not wanting to tire out the other any longer. The call had relaxed Changmin with the assurance of his best friend. He flopped onto his bed, allowing his eyes to close. The plan was so simple, yet so foolproof. He thought of Chanhee’s words as he drifted off, feeling comfort after being so nervous. _Nothing could go wrong. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEN YOU WROTE THIS INSTEAD OF UPDATING YOUR SERIES AHHHH 
> 
> its still going on tho we good
> 
> but it’s been so long (not really) since i’ve written about my two precious bubs! so i made the only rational decision i could: scrap my hopes of writing the update for “you don’t know what you’re dealing with” and start to write self indulgent highschool au fluff at 1 am. i deserve a standing oVATION (initiate sad slow claps) though if you //were// looking forward to the update, have a long fluffy 3 parter to compensate, im sorry if you were jfkldsj
> 
> credit to that tumblr post btw! I couldn’t find it, but that helped inspire this mess fsjlfjs and credit to the inspiration for the chapter 1 and 2 names; the quote ("to love is nothing. to be loved is something. but to love and be loved, thats everything.) is by themis tolis.
> 
> oh and janitor park isn't supposed to be a cameo i thought of something on the spot JFSDlk
> 
> hope you enjoyed this cheesy, confusing mess.


	2. but to love and be loved, thats everything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texting Usernames  
> bbanghoon = Younghoon  
> dad joke enthusiast = Sangyeon  
> mom = Jacob  
> kf(uckmylife)c = Jaehyun  
> moon boy = Kevin
> 
> (Also, the users/time for the texts will not be bolded due to html code complications. :( sorry everybody!)

Younghoon had gotten sick. _Literally, of_ all _times._ To make things worse, it wasn’t your typical run of the mill cold either. He’d gotten the flu for a whole week. Not only would he have to make up the end of the year quizzes, he’d have to think of a faster plan to confess. Of course, this still couldn’t make the shy boy talk. And by the intense stares he was getting from Jaehyun, Sangyeon and Jacob, they weren’t too happy either. _Phone,_ Jacob mouthed, pointing to his pocket. Younghoon nodded and was met with a plethora of texts from their group chat.

the penta-screw-this

why _has changed their nickname to_ bbanghoon.

oh my actual GOD younghoon

even your immune system has bad timing??

kf(uckmylife)c ● May 28th 10:54 AM

dont worry, i spoon fed him nyquil all weekend

dad joke enthusiast ● May 28th 10:55 AM

istg 

SANGYEON

mom ● May 28th 10:55 AM

uM

bbanghoon ● May 28th 10:56 AM

yeah just uM your way into this 

kf(uckmylife)c ● May 28th 10:56 AM

oh my god only you could get mad about these things

bbanghoon ● May 28th 10:57 AM

hi could you guys //not// blow up?? my phone??? trying to take notes

moon boy ● May 28th 10:57 AM

sorry kevin

mom ● May 28th 10:57 AM

Its fine love (jaehyun..)

moon boy ● May 28th 10:59 AM

ew

dad joke enthusiast ● May 28th 10:59 AM

NOT THE COUPLE WE NEED TO FOCUS ON RIGHT NOW GUYS

kf(uckmylife)c ● May 28th 11:00 AM

ooo hold up

tea??

moon boy ● May 28th 11:00 AM

seriously kevin

bbanghoon ● May 28th 11:00 AM

nvm

caughtf

lunch time tea thenbv

moon boy ● May 28th 11:01 AM

“Guys, the teacher said we could have freetime till lunch.” Jacob said, waving a hand in front of Younghoon’s phone screen. 

“Thank _God,_ I was starting to think I’d have to deal with Jaehyun’s shady emojis if we went on for any longer.” Sangyeon yawned, walking over to Younghoon’s desk.

“Thanks Sangyeon, the guy who’s turning eighteen in a few months and still said ‘ew’ to couples being affectionate.” Jaehyun shot back, leaning on the empty desk next to Younghoon’s.

“So, you have about… nine days left, what are you going to do?” The group already knew about a few of Younghoon’s plans, although they were doubtful, but they didn’t know how the schedule change would affect them. 

“Um… maybe play a few love songs while he’s by? Maybe-” He was cut off by Jaehyun clutching at his throat and for a moment, Younghoon thought he was actually choking. 

But Jaehyun soon followed up with a throaty, “Holy shit, Younghoon, _no!”_ Younghoon looked meekly at Jacob and Sangyeon for support but the other two only shook their heads. 

“Ugh- guys, it’s not as shotty as it sounds, if we just-” Jacob shushed him and took a breath before smiling gently at him.

“Sweetie, we know you’re just a shy little bean and we’ve always accepted that,” Jacob gestured to Sangyeon and Jaehyun who was (fake) twitching on the ground, “but maybe… you should try to go out of your comfort zone or something to confess?” Younghoon furrowed his brow in confusion before replying.

“Are you talking about sexy songs? Jacob, we’re children-” Jacob put a hand on Younghoon’s arm.

“No, Younghoon, why don’t you just go for it and _tell_ him?” Younghoon made an “o” expression with his mouth, staying silent. Of course he tried telling Changmin, but… But something always stopped him. _Maybe it’s the fact he has those eyes._ Even through Younghoon’s meager efforts he managed to get them to radiate with recognition, how could he lose that all now? If he confessed and Changmin didn’t reciprocate his feelings, would they turn cold? Would they become glittering with anger, disgust, fear? _Or maybe,_ Younghoon thought bitterly, _it’s the fact he has others that love him, instead of Changmin just loving them. Maybe it’s the fact he would’ve done something when he had the chance, maybe it’s the fact I’m so fucking terrified and he’s_ not, _I can’t look anyone in the eye without screwing it all up-_

Jacob pulled Younghoon into an embrace, Sangyeon taking to the pair’s side, patting Younghoon’s back. He just realized a few tears had leaked from his eyes and even Jaehyun had gotten up from his spot on the ground. “Sweetie, I’m sorry; you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to for us or him…” Younghoon nodded, trying not to sniff. Jacob pulled away as the bell rang and held out his hand to Younghoon.

“My God, I’m not five…” Younghoon muttered, taking Jacob’s hand as he looked away. Jacob only laughed, leading the group out of the class to lunch.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh my God, Chanhee, Chanhee!” Changmin squealed and crashed into his seat, making the other flinch. “Okay so good news and bad news, what d’you want to hear first?” Changmin was pretty sure he heard Chanhee grumble neither, but let it slip.

“Bad, I guess.”

“Er, I saw Jacob holding hands with Younghoon in the hallway, but that isn’t what matters! Well kind of, but Younghoon is back!” Chanhee blinked and nodded slowly, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Changmin’s expression must’ve been deflated enough however for Chanhee to sigh and put his food down.

“Okay, I know you get excited and can’t seem to remember _common knowledge,_ so I’ll remind you: Jacob and Kevin are dating.” Changmin blinked and nodded slowly. “Jesus, did you not sleep or something? You’re so out of it,” Chanhee commented and Changmin stiffened. “If you tell me you were awake thinking of your confession _again,_ I swear to God I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Juyeon asked, sliding into a seat next to Chanhee. Chanhee just sighed and pointed towards Changmin then at Younghoon who was currently all the way across the lunch room. Juyeon nodded as though this were some daily occurrence, which at this point, was. As the countdown to the last day of school shortened, Changmin’s hyperness grew. It got so bad a teacher had pulled him aside and lectured him to not drink anymore Starbucks the whole week. _Wait, his eyes._ Changmin had been staring at Younghoon for a solid five minutes now and if he looked hard enough, he was pretty sure they were a bit watery. _He’s flushed too…_ Changmin tapped Chanhee's shoulder, "Doesn't Younghoon look... like he cried... or something?" Chanhee did a double take as Changmin motioned to Younghoon, eyes widening. 

"I think he had a panic attack," Juyeon speculated, taking both boys by surprise. 

"How can you be so sure?" Changmin asked suspiciously only to earn a shrug from the taller boy. 

"We went to the same middle school and I guess... it came out gradually?" Juyeon started to babble about memories from middle school and although Chanhee was listening attentively, Changmin kept his gaze trained on the other. It hurt to know that Younghoon was going through something so unforgiving and harsh, it made Changmin want to wrap the other in a blanket and give him a cup of hot cocoa. _He's just a little squish..._

“Would it be that bad if I went up to him?” Changmin asked quietly, already standing up.

“I’d say go for it.” Juyeon replied, grinning at Chanhee. Changmin hovered by the pair until Chanhee groaned.

“Yes! Go for it! Gosh, why do you always need my approval…” _Now or never,_ Changmin thought as he started to stride towards Younghoon’s table.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, look to your right, dude.” Kevin pushed Younghoon slightly and to the younger’s surprise, Changmin was walking over. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Younghoon panicked, nearly spilling his orange juice. The group had just been talking about Younghoon’s plan to confess, Jacob and Kevin giving him tips on how to act when Kevin had spotted Changmin inching his way towards their lunch table.

“You look fine, he looks fine right? He’s fine-” Jacob fussed as Changmin’s arrival was delayed by a group of girls.

“Hey, idiots! Let’s go so Younghoon can talk to his future husband in peace!” Jaehyun interjected. Jacob nodded before tucking a piece of hair behind Younghoon’s ear and _poof,_ Younghoon’s whole support system disappeared. 

“Wow, thanks guys…” Younghoon mumbled disdainfully before stiffening. Changmin had managed to evade the group of girls and was now laughing as he walked closer.

“Hey Younghoon!” He started brightly, taking a seat next to him. “Um,” Changmin rubbed the back of his neck, “sorry, I’m a bit nervous to ask you since we aren’t that close…”

“Oh! It’s- no, it’s fine… er, what is it?” _Holy shit, Younghoon. You’re actual shit at this._ Changmin seemed to relax but his gaze still avoided Younghoon’s eyes.

“I mean… I saw your eyes looked a bit red, so I was wondering…” Younghoon’s embarrasment must’ve showed because Changmin quickly started to apologize.

“You don’t have to tell me! I was just wondering, if you know, you wanted anyone to talk with.” Younghoon blinked and fumbled with his sweater sleeve. 

“Actually, my friends were just here… they went to go get some, um, milk but…” Younghoon trailed off before nodding, Changmin finally looking up at him. But his eyes were full of disappointment, _did I do something wrong?_

“Ah, okay… you can always come to talk with me though, promise you will?” Changmin held out his hand, Younghoon not catching on he wanted him to pinky swear. _That’s… oddly endearing and adorable,_ Younghoon gushed internally as he took Changmin’s hand. The touch lasted for a second but Younghoon was pretty sure pink dusted the other’s cheeks as he pulled back and waved, returning to his table.

By the time lunch was over Kevin, Jacob, Sangyeon and Jaehyun were bombarding Younghoon with questions much to his delight. For the rest of the week and following weekend Younghoon felt more sure that Changmin might _actually_ accept his confession.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Changmin had two days until he was to confess to Younghoon, but at the moment, something else was catching his attention. Throughout the whole week, he’d been receiving anonymous gifts on his desk including marshmallows, a giraffe and elephant plushie and at the moment, a piece of paper wrapped in a sky blue bow. It made Changmin feel bad to know someone was going out of their way to buy him things when he was about to confess to Younghoon, but he still reluctantly took them out of politeness.

Changmin fiddled with the bow before the string unraveled, revealing the letter.

_Dear Changmin,_

_Sorry, it sounds a bit weird to call you by your real name when you don’t even know mine… As you know, your previous gifts were from me, and this is the last one you’ll be receiving. You’re receiving these gifts on the account of me chickening out. Forgive me, but I just… couldn’t bring myself to tell you? That sounds really stupid, but I promise you, it gets worse. (Haha.) Originally, (I got this from Tumblr by the way, I’m not THAT weird…) I was going to tap out my confession in morse code… Yeah, I don’t think I got that much sleep that day. Because you know, I really doubt you know morse code and I don’t think I could even get close enough to you for you to hear or anything? God, this letter is a mess. (AKA, I’m a mess.) Anyways, I wanted to do all these things for you, but then I realized; I couldn’t. I’m not close enough to you, and I couldn’t possibly be. We’ve barely interacted and if I’m being honest, you probably deserve someone who could have a normal conversation with you instead of creepily sending you gifts and avoiding verbally confessing to you at all thoughts. After that realization, I decided to write you a letter. Cliche? Maybe. But is it a hell of a lot easier than talking to you face to face? You bet. I wanted your year to end just knowing that someone cares for you, Changmin. And I wish I was able to do something about it, maybe if I tried harder to talk with you more something could have been different this year.. But I don’t want to reminisce on that, just remember: if I could’ve, I would’ve said, “I love you,” in person._

The letter ended without a signature, only a scribbled heart. Changmin didn’t usually get confessed to but when the occasion came, it ended quite peacefully. As though the person wasn’t actually quite interested in Changmin, maybe only for his looks. But that wasn’t what Changmin focused on, he never felt bitter towards anyone even if that was the case. The tone of this letter however, felt more… regretful. It made Changmin’s heart sway a little as he thought of all his missed chances with Younghoon. Changmin tucked the paper in his pocket as the bell rang, marking only one more day until the end of the year.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“You put it on the back? Are you sure he’ll even see that Younghoon?” Jaehyun asked tentatively. Younghoon nodded. On the back of his note he’d scrawled down the ice cream shop where he’d be waiting; it was a risky shot, but it was the only way he knew he could reveal himself where he’d be comfortable. Jaehyun had helped him think of the plan last weekend, although it took lots of convincing and a promise that he, Jacob and Kevin would be lurking nearby. And maybe it was what happened on Friday, but it definitely gave him the boost he needed.

“I’m sorry, but can we first confirm what his plan exactly _was?”_ Sangyeon inquired, not having been present for Jaehyun and Younghoon’s great revelation.

“Basically, Younghoon has been sneaking Changmin gifts and his last gift included a letter; on the back of the letter it has an address of an ice cream parlour, where we’ll all be waiting creepily for Changmin to arrive so Younghoon can have a dramatic confession.” Kevin explained, stressing the last two words and feigning fainting. 

“Thanks, I sound way creepier and manipulative that way.” Younghoon said dryly.

“Ah, I won’t be able to attend, I’m helping clean out the lockers on the last day.” Jacob said, erupting protests from the group. 

“Case in point, Jacob Bae is a damned angel.” Jaehyun commented and snickering as Jacob sent him his “mother glare.”

“No, it’s okay Jacob. Have fun being a saint though, that job is not always… pleasant.” Younghoon said. Internally he was having a minor freakout but Jacob would be available through text… _It’s going to fine…_ But even with his sudden confidence boost, Younghoon still wasn’t so sure.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Changmin was practically a ball of energy in his seat. Not that he was the only one, of course. It was last period and everyone was itching to leave the school for a sunnier, more forgiving three months. During lunch Juyeon had helped him prepare for the next few hours. _His locker is number two eight one, you should be able to catch him. If not, Chanhee and I will be waiting outside the school to see if he’s going on a bus or driving._

Finally, the last minutes on the clock seemed to be near and soon enough the class was released into the current hell that was the hallway. For the first time since freshman year, Changmin counted the lockers until he got to two seven nine, two eight zero, two eight one... 

No one was there.

 _Did Juyeon make a mistake?_ Changmin thought, alarm coursing through his body in waves. _Juyeon wouldn’t mess it up on purpose… did Younghoon leave early?_ Suddenly he felt something pat his shoulder though when Changmin looked back, it wasn’t Younghoon. Instead it was the school counselor and she didn’t look too happy.

“C’mon Ji, you promised Janitor Park you’d help him out clean the lockers today.”

“What? I’m sorry-”

“You’ll have the other students helping you, don’t worry. Now hussle to it, everybody is in the pod space between the classrooms and the hallway is more empty.” Changmin felt his phone buzz in his pocket, no doubt Juyeon and Chanhee, but he felt too dejected to even pick it up. He couldn’t even remember when he _did_ sign up to help out the staff though, knowing Changmin who could be pretty forgetful, he must’ve at some point. He ambled to where all the other students were, some already getting assigned to locker sections.

Some students whispered as he joined the group, surprised that one of the most popular students wasn’t out already and hanging out with friends. Among the crowd however were a few familiar faces including a boy named Jacob and Haknyeon. They were talking with each other but the pair broke off as soon as Haknyeon’s gaze caught Changmin’s, his eyes widening to the size of saucers. Jacob caught on and when he looked behind him, he looked equally shocked. _Did people really not expect me to be here?_ Don’t get Changmin wrong, he thought of himself with a very humble image in mind but he thought he gave back to his community quite a bit.

The boys motioned for the other to come closer and when Changmin was in earshot, he heard a slew of curses (mainly from Haknyeon).

“Dude, what the hell? What are you doing here?” Haknyeon hissed.

“Ju, go to the section with lockers one hundred eighty to two-hundred.” The janitor boomed, Haknyeon mouthing something at Jacob before walking away with a garbage bag. A heartbeat later, the janitor called Changmin and Jacob.

“Jacob and Changmin, how about you do lockers ten through thirty.” Jacob nodded, plucking a few garbage bags from a box and walking briskly with Changmin’s wrist in his hand.

“So Changmin, why are you here?” Jacob questioned, looking over a few lockers before grabbing a trash bag and stuffing forgotten papers inside. _Pause for a second… isn’t this kid Younghoon’s friend?_ Changmin vaguely recalled the day he was holding Younghoon’s hand and how he sat at his lunch table. “Earth to Changmin? I asked why you were here?” Jacob asked again, his voice thin.

“I’m sorry, but, uh- do you know where I could find Younghoon? Is he here too?” Changmin asked, the other’s eyes flashing with recognition and something else he couldn’t quite recognize.

“No…” Jacob said slowly. “One second Changmin, I’ll be back in a bit…” The other boy put down his trash bag and walked away, leaving Changmin alone.

Jacob returned ten minutes later, clutching something in his hand.

“Sorry, I needed to call my mom to make sure she was picking me up…” As Jacob returned to the locker he was working on he slipped the object, which Changmin realized was a piece of paper, Jacob whispered in his ear. “Check the back, Changmin. I’ll cover for you.” Changmin opened his mouth to reply, realizing the paper was the one he’d gotten yesterday. _Did it drop from my pocket…?_ He flipped it over only to find a few words scrawled in the corner.

_Meet me on the last day of school at the ice cream parlour, on the corner of main street._  
_xo, YH_

Changmin had no idea what YH stood for, but as he started to put the pieces together, he quickly realized who it could be. He looked up to see Jacob smiling at him, Changmin’s expression quickly mirroring his.

“Thank you Jacob!” He screeched as he sprinted down the hall, making a run for the exit. All he heard in return was a laugh and soon, he was sprinting to his car. He clumsily took out his phone and texted Juyeon and Chanhee before turning on the ignition of his car.

Lee Juyeon

where are you?

Lee Juyeon ● June 5th 3:39 PM

chanhee said you guys probably left already, we’re leaving as well!

Lee Juyeon ● June 5th 3:50 PM

im heading to the icecream parlourf on mainn,, somethinh came up

Ji Changmin ● June 5th 4:10 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda jammed all my notes into the first chapter's,, so,,,,,,, hi,,,,
> 
> but the most important thing if you didn't see the first chapter notes is that i'm having a schedule change! instead of my publish time being friday-sunday, its now friday-monday. thank you for understanding! :D
> 
> tumblr: sunneedstherapy


	3. because of you, i think i can say it now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (To better understand the ending, the gang got out of school on June 5th.)
> 
> (Also, again, the users/time for the texts will not be bolded due to html code complications. :( sorry everybody!)

“I don’t think he decided to show.” Younghoon said glumly, putting down his cup of chocolate ice cream. It wouldn’t surprise Younghoon after all. _He probably thought I was a serial killer or something._

“No, maybe he didn’t see the note…” Kevin tried to console Younghoon, anxiously looking around for any new customers. Jaehyun stayed silent, squeezing and releasing his water bottle, looking thoroughly ticked. Sangyeon returned to their table after taking a call, looking quite cheerful.

“What are you smiling about grandpa?” Jaehyun asked bitterly, Sangyeon looking taken aback by the mood change of the table.

“Nothing, Jacob should be here soon though.” Sangyeon said, Kevin and Younghoon sharing a worried look.

“No news of…?” Kevin trailed off, Sangyeon humming.

“You’ll see in a bit. For now, why don’t we enjoy our ice cream?” Sangyeon picked up a spoon, only to be pinned down by Jaehyun.

“Listen Sangyeon, we’ve been ‘enjoying’ our ice cream for almost an hour-” Younghoon felt tears prick at his eyes as their arguing continued, Kevin anxiously patting Younghoon’s leg. However, just before the arguing could advance any further and Younghoon could let out any more tears, a black car pulled up in front of the parlour.

“Wait a minute…” Jaehyun muttered before releasing Sangyeon from his grip, a figure hurriedly stepping out of the car and running towards their table. Before Younghoon could register it, he was pulled into a bear hug, words slurred together.

“Um, who-” Younghoon asked, only to be met with Changmin’s flushed face.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, believe me, I was planning to be here sooner-” Younghoon pulled away, blush evident on his face.

“Did you actually get the note?” Changmin nodded and opened his mouth to reply, only for Sangyeon to start laughing.

“Jacob gave it to him, he called me to say there was a ‘miscommunication.’” 

“Oh…” Younghoon swallowed, pulling over a chair for Changmin to sit in. The other boy gladly took it, panting despite having taken his car. “So,” Younghoon inquired expectantly, “do you… accept it?” Changmin cocked his head out of confusion for a moment before letting out a grin.

“Originally, this was going to be the other way around…” Changmin said, the reply making Younghoon choke.

“Pause, pause!” He cleared his throat. “You aren’t, like, joking around?” Changmin shook his head, grabbing Younghoon’s hand.

“Younghoon, I like you. Do you accept it?” He mimicked Younghoon, earning a playful hit from him.

“What the hell do you think, oh my God.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jacob arrived later with four other friends of Changmin’s, all one class below the group as well as two boys named Chanhee and Juyeon. The remainder of the afternoon was spent exchanging stories and the plans for each confession (much to the couple’s embarrasment). Finally, the evening arrived marking the end of the friends time, Sangyeon promising to create a group chat once they all got home. Younghoon and Changmin exchanged numbers, both saying their goodbyes. But before Changmin could climb into his car, Younghoon tightened his grip on the other’s hand.

“Before you go! I- um, well…” Younghoon rubbed his neck, letting out a sheepish laugh. “I think I can say it now…”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(my) dork

daily reminder!

i love you!! ^ _ ^

(my) dork ● July 20th 12:17 PM

I love you too. <3

Younghoonie <3 ● July 20th 12:23 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when ao3 is being an ass so you make this a 3 parter...
> 
> you know what i've been trying to put here LOL (schedule change, pls check chapter 1 or 2 to see the specifics fdsjfsdjkl)
> 
> tumblr: sunneedstherapy


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